16. Rape, molestation and incest (Index)

RAPE, MOLESTATION AND INCEST
INDEX

 

 

CHPT 1:  INTRODUCTION, DEFINITIONS, VOCABULARY AND STATISTICS     
Perry Draper & Diane Langberg

  • Sexual abuse alters people’s worlds                                                                         
  • Definitions                                                                                                                         
    • What is sexual abuse?                                                                                             
      • Verbal sexual abuse                                                                                           
      • Visual sexual abuse                                                                                           
      • Physical sexual abuse                                                                                       
  • Sexual abuse influences the person as a whole                                                     
  • Who are the abusers?                                                                                                 
  • Typical vocabulary                                                                                                          
    • Triggers                                                                                                                       
    • Flashbacks                                                                                                                 
    • Nightmares                                                                                                                 
    • Dissociation                                                                                                                
  • Statistics                                                                                                                            
  • The silent cry                                                                                                                    
    • Unbelief                                                                                                                        
    • Fear of reprisal                                                                                                           
    • Power games                                                                                                             
    • Family consequences                                                                                              
    • Shame and embarrassment                                                                                   
    • Scorn of peers                                                                                                           
  • Dealing with the abuse                                                                                                   
    • Telling your story                                                                                                      
      • Some other parameters that survivors have found helpful                     
    •  What happens after you tell your story?                                                             
      • What is your voice saying?                                                                               
      • What is the abuser's voice saying?                                                                
      • What is the voice of the Redeemer saying?                                                 

 

CHPT 2:  STAGES OF ABUSE                                                                                           
Dan Allender

  • Sexual abuse does not occur out of the blue                                                          
    • There is a context                                                                                                      
    • Boundaries                                                                                                                  
    • The atmosphere within the dysfunctional home                                              
  • Typical stages of sexual abuse                                                                                   
    • Stage 1: Development of intimacy and secrecy                                                
    • Stage 2: Physical contact that appears appropriate                                        
    • Stage 3: Sexual abuse proper                                                                                
    • Stage 4: Maintenance of the abuse and secrecy through threats and privileges

                                                                                                             

CHPT 3: SYMPTOMS INDICATING POSSIBLE INTERFERENCE WITH SOMEBODY’S SEXUALITY                                                                                                 
Fred Littauer

  • Lack of resistance to sexual attack                                                                            
  • Obsessive fear of rape                                                                                                   
  • Feel unworthy of God’s love                                                                                         
  • Feeling dirty                                                                                                                      
  • Fits of rage                                                                                                                         
  • Memory gaps                                                                                                                    
  • Same-sex attraction                                                                                                        
  • Self-hatred                                                                                                                         
  • Uncomfortable with nudity in marriage                                                                     
  • PMS                                                                                                                                     
  • Migraine headaches                                                                                                        
  • Marital sexual disinterest                                                                                               
  • General conclusions                                                                                                       

 

CHPT 4: CONFRONTING THE ABUSER                                                                         
Dan B Allender

  • What does it look like to love the actual abuser?                                                    
  • What is a valid motive for the choice to confront?                                                 
  • What will the confrontation look like?                                                                        
  • Actual confrontation must involve rebuke                                                                
  • What is to be done if the abuser blocks real change?                                           
  • The process is not over after the ini­tial confrontation                                           

 

CHPT 5:  HONESTY AND FORGIVENESS                                                 
Dan B Allender

  • Eight important truths to be acknowledged                                                             
  • What does it mean to love?                                                                                           
  • What then is love?                                                                                                           
  • Three important components of forgiveness                                                          
    • Hunger for restoration                                                                                              
    • Bold love                                                                                                                      
    • Revoking revenge                                                                                                     
  • Three important components that separate justice from revenge                     
    • Revenge leaves no room for restoration                                                             
    • Revenge gets in the way of God                                                                            
    • God gives an opportunity for conquering and over­coming evil today by doing good

                                                                                              

 CHPT 6:  DEALING WITH THE TRAUMA AND HOW TO MINISTER TO VICTIMS
David Seamands

  • Dealing with the trauma                                                                                                 
    • What is trauma?                                                                                                         
    • Sexual abuse causes deep wounds                                                                    
      • Many survivors wrestle with their picture of God.                                      
      • Abuse shatters your sense of self                                                                  
      • Abuse can cause long-term physical problems                                          
  • How to minister to victims of abuse                                                                           
    • Probing without prying                                                                                            
    • The conflict of contradictory emotions                                                               
    • Centring  on the real hurt which needs healing                                                
    • Counseling and interview stage
    • Prayer and ministry stage

                                                                                                                                                          

 BIBLIOGRAPHY

APPENDIX  1:  Recognizing observable symptoms in the sexually abused
APPENDIX  2:  Perry Draper’s survivor’s checklist
APPENDIX  3:  Consequential damage of the abuse
APPENDIX  4:  Guidelines for people who are walking alongside a survivor        
APPENDIX  5:  General suggestions for responding to suffering                            
APPENDIX  6:  Responses to someone who has been raped                                   
APPENDIX  7:  Guidelines for responding to disclosures of abuse                         
APPENDIX  8:  Dealing with the emotional aftereffects of rape
APPENDIX  9:  Isaiah 53