26. Hospital Pastorate (Index)

CONTENTS – GRIEF COUNSELING

Chapter 1.  GENERAL GUIDELINES FOR HOSPITAL VISITING

  • The phase of being ill
    • The pre-operative phase
    • The operative phase
    • The postoperative phase
  • The role of the family
    • How do threatened families react?
    • Important guidelines for ill persons and their families
    • Do's and don’ts of hospital visits
    • Co-operation with the nursing staff
  • Guidelines with reference to Scripture usage
    • Parts of Scripture that can be used
  • The conversation with the ill person
    • The auxiliary worker
    • The ill person
    • God
    • The emotional climate
    • Non-verbal communication
    • You start by listening
    • What will you speak about?
    • Tips about your conversation

 

Chapter 2. GRIEF COUNSELLING

  • Typical phases of grieving
    • Shock and denial
    • Anger
    • Depression
    • Bargaining
    • Sadness
    • Closure and acceptance
  • The four grief tasks
    • Acceptance of reality
    • The experiencing of pain and sorrow
    • Adjustment to new surroundings/situation
    • Re-investment of emotional energy

 

Chapter 3. PSYCHIC EXPERIENCES OF THE DYING PERSON

  • Psychic experiences of the dying person
    • Loneliness
    • Isolation
    • Loss of human dignity
    • Loss of ruling power
    • Fear and anxiety of death
    • Security
    • Love
    • The need for respect
    • The need for independence
    • Importance of the secondary traumatised

 

Chapter 4. THE CONVERSATION WITH THE DYING PERSON

  • Verbal communication with dying people
    • The conversation between the doctor and the dying patient
    • The conversation between the pastor and the dying patient
    • Guidelines for facilitators
    • Some further aspects that need attention for effective counselling
    • Further techniques that can enhance conversation
    • Physicality is that which binds human to human

 

Chapter 5.  PASTORAL GUIDANCE FOR THE TERMINAL PATIENT

  • The dying phases
    • Shock phase
    • Denial phase
    • Rebellion or anger
    • Depression
    • Negotiation
    • Acceptance
  • Aspects that can influence spiritual and emotional stability
    • Religious conviction
    • Unconfessed trespasses
    • Unresolved hurt and pain from the past must get attention
    • Unresolved loss
    • Forgiveness
    • Abnormal anxiety
    • The cancelling out of unhealthy emotional bonds from the past
  • Aspects that broadens perspective
    • In every crisis is an opportunity of growth
    • Preparation for an eternity task
    • The role of pain in our lives
  • The seven cross words of Jesus as guideline to death guidance
    • First word on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what  they are doing!”
    • Second word on the cross: “Today you will be in paradise with Me “
    • Third word on the cross: “When Jesus saw His mother ...He said to her: 'There is your son' After that He says to the disciple: 'There is your mother.' From that moment the disciple took her into his home.”
    • Fourth word on the cross: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? “
    • Fifth word on the cross:  “I am thirsty.”
    • Sixth word on the cross: “It is finished!”
    • Seventh word on the cross: “Father, into Your hands I surrender My Spirit.”

 

Chapter 6.  THE PROCESS OF DYING

 

Chapter 7.  PERSONAL   EXPERIENCE

  • The world continues as if nothing has happened
  • Farewell to the body
  • The first night
  • A need for the finest detail
  • The funeral
  • Do not try to sidestep pain
  • Old friends who do not arrive
  • Some pull you back rather than ahead
  • The many questions
  • It is not a time to try to be 'strong'
  • Initially, live one day at a time
  • Plan ahead for difficult times
  • Keep yourself busy meaningfully
  • Formulate new aims and goals
  • The first year anniversary
  • Refined people
  • A new theology
  • Re-arranging of priorities
  • In retrospect