23. Father wounds and Father hunger (Index)

  

FATHER WOUNDS - CONTENTS

 

 

 

CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTORY COMMENTS. 4

   Enormous challenges for homes without fathers. 4

   ‘Father wounds' and 'Father hunger' 6

 

CHAPTER 2  SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL FATHERHOOD. 8

   There is no perfect father 8

   Emotional fatherhood. 8

   Hitler and Dennis Rodman. 10

   Research with women who did not have a father 11

   DVD recordings during visiting hours in baby wards. 11

   The joy factor 12

   Fathering and closeness. 13

   Bop's story. 14

   Father and children meet one another in prison. 15

   Five elements of the process of fathering. 17

o    Honouring and respect 17

o    Encouragement 18

o    Affirmation. 18

o    Restrain. 19

o    Teaching. 19

 

Chapter 3  EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR CHILDREN FROM THE 'PRISONS' THEIR FATHERS HAVE BUILT. 20

   Father and son meet after many years. 21

   A question that gradually became more critical for James Ryle during most of his performances: 22

 

CHAPTER 4  TO REBUILD YOUR FATHER RELATIONSHIP. 24

   Questionnaire. 24

   World-known atheists with broken father relationships. 26

   Your father is 'in you' 27

   Dave Jackson's story. 29

 

CHAPTER 5  THE FATHER OF THE PRODIGAL SON. 31

   Luke 15:11- 13, 20-23 (NIV) 31

   Children have a need for more time with Dad. 32

   We are poor listeners. 33

   Correct what went wrong. 34

   As fathers we often sit with the key in our hands. 35

   Make it easy for your child to eventually make the right choices. 39

 

CHAPTER 6  THE HEALING PROCESS. 42

   Step 1: Identify the symptoms. 44

   Step 2: Gather all the facts. 47

   Step 3: Identify family secrets and family myths. 48

   Step 4: Verbalise that which had not been said before. 50

   Step 5: Rewrite the history. 50

   Step 6: Process the losses. 52

 

CHAPTER 7  TO MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR FATHER. 55

   Step 7:  Wait 55

   Step 8: Forgive. 57

o    Myth nr 1: By forgiving we will be condoning other people's bad behaviour 57

o    Myth nr 2: Forgiveness implies reconciliation. 57

o    Myth nr 3: Forgiveness is a quick and an easy process. 58

o    Myth nr 4: To forgive we must also forget 58

o    True forgiveness. 58

   Step 9: Invite others to accompany you on your journey. 60

   Step 10: Investigate new roles. 61

   Step 11: Redeem the past 62

 

CHAPTER 8  THE FATHER YOU ALWAYS WANTED. 64

   There is a heavenly Father who cares about every broken person. 64

   Everywhere we look around us we see Father wounds. 64

   Elder of 90 years experiences a spiritual breakthrough. 66

   The importance of Father / God encounter 67

   Have you ever done things to your children that you wish you could cancel                out?. 68

   A cry for help from a 41 year old woman. 69

   God is our healing Father 70

   Blessing. 72

 

ADDENDUM A:  STEP BY STEP JOURNAL HOW TO MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR FATHER. 73

   Step 1: Identify the symptoms. 73

   Step 2: Get the facts. 80

   Step 3: Identify family secrets and family myths. 81

   Step 4: Verbalise that which had not been said before. 83

   Step 5: Rewrite the history. 84

   Step 6: Process the losses. 86

   Step 7: Wait 90

   Step 8: Forgive. 92

   Step 9: Invite others to join you on your journey. 93

   Step 10: Explore new roles. 97

   Step 11: Redeem the past 99